Rejection in modeling
A lot of people have asked me about rejection lately. And my 1st impression is “I understand”. Rejection is hard. It’s normal in the business and it’s normal in life. The worst part of being rejected is not just not being picked but not understanding why you weren’t picked. I have models ask me every day why they didn’t get the job. I get frustrated because in many cases I can’t tell them why because we don’t even get the feedback. The business is moving at such fast speeds that the clients are too busy trying to get the job done to give feedback on every model. They have already moved on to the next job. The pressure is on for everyone. It’s not personal. It’s just business.
The second thing that you need to remember is that is many cases it has nothing to do with you. I mean it. There are so many factors that go into picking a model for a job. You may think “well that show used 40 girls why wasn’t I one of them?” In this case there could be a variety of reasons. First of all in the majority of the biggest shows. 30-32 of those 40 models are the trendiest, talked about models on the planet. Those same names are doing every top show. So the rest of the models competing for shows (hundreds) are competing for those remaining 6-8 slots. In many cases those casting directors are looking to fill those last places with brand new unknown faces to launch. It’s not fair but it’s the truth. That is the game.
It could be that you’re perfect. They love you. But you simply don’t fit in with the cast. You stand out and don’t work with the overall creative. It has nothing to do with you. It could be your look, your height, your size, even your color. It’s not necessarily discrimination as it could be a specific look drawn up for that collection. The last season’s comments I heard was if you weren’t black or Asian you didn’t get any shows.
Is discrimination prevalent? Of course it is. Whether its size, race or other we still a long way to go in this fight for inclusivity. But each designer has their own aesthetic. And if you have watched the past several seasons of fashion weeks worldwide you will see a much larger influx of inclusivity. I hope that continues.
In every job there are a variety of players involved that have decision making power. They don’t always agree. You could be loved by 3 of them them but not on the list for the 4th. Perhaps the stylist loves you but it’s the company itself that has more closed minded views. In that case I would always want the stylist’s support over the clients. The stylist has more power over others jobs.
Whatever the reason though, rejection sucks. It’s hard to not get picked especially when you hear it over and over and don’t understand why. I wish I could make that easier.
Here’s the thing you can do as a model to overcome rejection.
Be in the best fucking shape as a model you can be. Many models think they just deserve to get a top job with very little work. There are too many models out there that want it more than you do. You have to ask yourself “Did I truly do everything I could on my end to get that job?” Prove them wrong. If you do your part to be in the best shape possible, with your skin and hair looking the best it possibly can, with your swagger and style feeling powerful then you know you did everything on your end to get that job and you KNOW that it was on them not you.
Remind yourself that even though you are competing against hundreds of girls no one can replace you. You are the ONLY you. If you’re not what they are looking for move on. If you can stay with yourself mentally and back yourself with your inner confidence that you are as cool as shit then you win every time. The client that books you is lucky they found the original you.
That job might not have been the job for you. I get breakdowns all the time and I submit or send in models that don’t fit the requirements. I send them because I don’t care what the requirements are. I believe in that model ands will send them in to try anyways. In some cases I’m wrong and the client doesn’t respond favorably. But I know I believed in that model and I tried. Maybe you just weren’t right for that job. But you believed and you tried. It’s not personal. It’s business. Next one.
Let’s talk a little bit about rejection as a model in general. Maybe you want to be a model so bad and no one is giving you the chance. People say you’re too short, you’re too commercial, you’re too edgy whatever. The status quo is a strong current to swim through. Unfortunately this is a world where the top players set the standards for what everyone wants. And all the followers follow. If you’re significantly shorter, taller or a different size you don’t fit in the group of other models. It’s not about your inability to pose, walk or model. You stand out and make the looks of the shot inconsistent. The designers also design their clothes for taller people because it hangs off that kind of body frame to appear more aspirational. It is reality? No, not necessarily. Most people don’t have that body frame. But fashion is a fantasy. Many of these designers are under pressure to sell clothes so all they are focused on is getting the their clothes to look like a dream on every person by putting it on a frame that is not necessarily realistic. It's business. Are there ways to break the mold? Yes. New exciting talent do it all the time. How much do you want it and how savvy are you?
The reality is the most difficult part. You may not be the right fit or look for high fashion. Some people want to be swimmers, piano players or gymnasts but they weren’t born with the right physical features to perform at a champion level. It may be time for you to find the next amazing thing that is right for you. If you are, I find in many cases the right people will find you. But forcing it may be telling you that it isn’t right for you. And from my perspective as a New York agent don’t pay money to someone for classes or portfolios to force a modeling career that isn’t realistic.
My thoughts are hard but honest. I hate seeing people lose their dreams but I hate even more to see people get tricked by someone taking advantage of those dreams. FInd the dream that is waiting for you. There is one. I promise.
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